Bruh, Man Up (Submission, part 1)

There’s a incorrect popular idea in masculine culture ,and especially even Christianity, that the practice and idea of submission is primarily the responsibility of the woman. The usual themes I see on Twitter, Facebook, college campuses, Sunday mornings,  Wednesday night Bible studies, etc., go something like this:

Woman Submits to Man, Man Submits to nobody. Man is King.

Let’s look at the story of a famous King and see how the popular idea of submission matches up.

So there was a man who God called to preach to a city called Nineveh; his name was Jonah.  After a crazy journey to get there, he finally preaches to the city of Nineveh to repent – to turn away from their sin and turn to God. This was the King of that city’s response:

Jonah 3

6 The word reached the king of Nineveh, and he arose from his throne, removed his robe, covered himself with sackcloth, and sat in ashes.7 And he issued a proclamation and published through Nineveh, “By the decree of the king and his nobles: Let neither man nor beast, herd nor flock, taste anything. Let them not feed or drink water,8 but let man and beast be covered with sackcloth, and let them call out mightily to God. Let everyone turn from his evil way and from the violence that is in his hands.9 Who knows? God may turn and relent and turn from his fierce anger, so that we may not perish.”

The city of Nineveh was horrible, very much like the terrorist culture of Al Qaeda. They were known for torturing folk, pillaging other nations, and the worship of various false gods. The King of this city literally ran all of these things. He was the head. Nineveh was his world, or so he thought. However, peep the text and let’s peep what he does in light of the message Jonah preached:

1. Arose from his throne

The King of this mighty nation, the ruler of everything around Him, this man of renown and power, arose from his throne. This man had a seat of authority, influence, wealth, power, women, you name it. But in response to God, the King got off of his throne. This points to the fact that he was willing to give all of what he had up to be in alignment with what God’s desires were for him.

2. Removed his robe

The robe of the King was a public display of his position. This is who he was. Folk saw this Kings robe and knew who he was. This was his identity. Again though, this man was willing to give up who he found himself to be, as well as who others found Him to be in response to God.

3. Put on sackcloth and sat in ashes

Even without knowing the Bible, The King was able to understand God’s will to such an extent that He was willing to take off “everything” and put on nothing. In this realization, the King was able to put on humility- and to sit in humility. All in response to a message from God.

Keep reading the text. Look at how he took these steps in response to God, leading his community to follow suit. This is what Biblical submission looks like for men. Men are called to submit to God. They are called to get off of the thrones of their own hearts, take off the identity given to them by the world, and sit in humility- agreeing to the role that God has for them- which is always one of leadership in some degree, and always one that leads others to turn to God.

So we know what submission is, but the question is how do we do this? It’s hard to get off the throne of your own herd, take off your identity that the world gives you, and then sit in humility. I dare say it’s impossible. So how do we do it? Quick verse and we’ll wrap up part 1…

Philippians 4:12 I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need.13 I can do all things through him who strengthens me.

The answer is Jesus. We need Him for us to submit … that means we repent -turn away from our sins and turn to Him, to believe in His work on His Cross where he paid the debt of sin against God that we owe. Through Him we can do this thing men. Next time we’re going to talk about another King who submitted so that we can really unpack this thing even further.

Part 2 coming soon!

grace and peace.

Bruh, Man Up! (Love)

CAUTION: This blog may make you upset, but the ultimate aim is for you to see love in a possibly very different way.

F%^&%K LOVE”

I hear and read this quite a bit from my female peers. In loving curiosity, I have asked why these women would say that and it always goes back to a broken relationship with a guy, always. More specifically, this stance on love usually stems from a broken relationship in which sex was involved. You know, the guy and gal did the do and then for one reason or another, the guy left the relationship. The guy usually gets it in under some pretense of marital insinuation, and the girl is broken by the prince that never was. And while there is a large contingent of males young and old who harbor harsh opinions towards these women, they have neglected the fact that they own a large bit of the blame.

Peep This…

Genesis 38:6 And Judah took a wife for Er his firstborn, and her name was Tamar.7 But Er, Judah’s firstborn, was wicked in the sight of the Lord, and the Lord put him to death.8 Then Judah said to Onan, Go in to your brother’s wife and perform the duty of a brother-in-law to her, and raise up offspring for your brother.9 But Onan knew that the offspring would not be his. So whenever he went in to his brother’s wife he would waste the semen on the ground, so as not to give offspring to his brother.10 And what he did was wicked in the sight of the Lord, and he put him to death also.
Let’s take a moment to add some cultural context. Back then, in order to preserve the family line, it was culturally acceptable for a brother to marry his deceased brother’s widow. Onan’s brother Er was wicked in God’s eyes, so God killed him. Onan then is called by his father to marry Tamar, Er’s widow. Onan is asked to “raise up offspring for [his] brother”. The thing is Onan would have sex with Tamar, but as the text says he would pull out. The text then says God kills Onan because “what he did was wicked in the sight of the Lord”.

So if it was culturally acceptable for Onan to sleep with Tamar, why all the pulling out?

Onan wanted to get what Onan wanted, which was a nut (yeah I’m sorry, it sounds bad…but that’s what the text says). Onan just used Tamar as a receptacle for his selfishness.  When it came down to actually planting a part of himself inside of this woman, he pulled out. He didn’t want to cultivate, he wanted to copulate. This wasn’t love-making, this was extended masturbation. His act of wickedness was being selfish, and not loving this woman.

The text revealed that because Onan used Tamar as an object of extended masturbation, God killed him. This is a problem for us, because most of us guys are Onan’s. We literally get it in, and do our thing for 1, 4, maybe even 20 whole minutes (#wow!), but when it’s time for insemination what do we do? That’s right, we pull out (most of us get tired of pulling out and want to increase our chances of not getting the woman pregnant, so we just wear a condom, which is worse than pulling out really).

**And for the guys who are saying “well wait a second, I have a child and I raise them too”, I’d say good for you man, but 1. did you go in planning to have a child, or 2. did you just get caught up, or worse 3.  knew you’d get her pregnant and have an abortion and then she said she’s not down? You’re worse than Onan too. There’s good news for you too if you keep on reading.**

Men, we are willing to do it all, cuddle in bed afterwards, share a dog, pay for the food, buy the movie tickets, take her on a trip to New Zealand, but we aren’t willing to make a commitment. We’re willing to get as much as we can from them, without giving them any part of us.  It’s selfish, and certainly not loving–God actually calls it wicked. And like Onan, God has a punishment for your wickedness (death).

Good News

For too long we’ve followed in the marks of Onan, acting out of pure selfishness. We don’t want offspring, we want to get it in and get out. We’re not looking to produce, we’re looking to pollute. Thankfully, Jesus Christ died for this wickedness.  The Bible says “while we were yet sinners, Christ died for the ungodly (Romans 5:8).” You see, Jesus Christ went all the way in for some folk who didn’t deserve it. He didn’t look for pleasure in self-preservation, He saw pleasure in being obedient to God and honoring Him. He looked beyond Himself. He died on a Cross, not because He was wicked, but because we were wicked.  After paying for the sin of all those who believe on the filthy cross, He was buried, He sowed His seed (which was Himself) into the ground. And He didn’t pull out early. He stayed in the Earth for three days. That seed did not lay dormant, it rose in new life. This new life represented the life that would be given to the millions upon millions of people who would place their faith in Jesus Christ. You see, His seed was not wasted, it went on to produce the biggest family ever. The family of God. And there are people born (again) from this seed all the time. I’m one of them.

1 Corinthians 15:20-23
But now Christ is risen from the dead, and has become the firstfruits of those who have fallen asleep. For since by man came death, by Man also came the resurrection of the dead. For as in Adam all die, even so in Christ all shall be made alive. But each one in his own order: Christ the firstfruits, afterward those who are Christ’s at His coming.

That’s love. That’s the kind of love we are called to live in and through and share to others men. Love that looks beyond ourselves and chiefly aims to honor God.

grace and peace.

Bruh, Man Up! (Courage)

*Hey fam, this is a series on Biblical masculinity. It’s been a while, so if  you missed the introduction this series called “Bruh, Man Up”,  peep it here:

Let’s be frank (help me Lord)

Candis and I were talking and she pointed me to a certain text that really troubled me (Yes I can admit the Bible bothers me sometimes, but that’s for another blog). This was the text:

Deuteronomy 22:23-27
23If there is a betrothed virgin, and a man meets her in the city and lies with her,24 then you shall bring them both out to the gate of that city, and you shall stone them to death with stones, the young woman because she did not cry for help though she was in the city, and the man because he violated his neighbor’s wife. So you shall purge the evil from your midst.25But if in the open country a man meets a young woman who is betrothed, and the man seizes her and lies with her, then only the man who lay with her shall die.26 But you shall do nothing to the young woman; she has committed no offense punishable by death. For this case is like that of a man attacking and murdering his neighbor,27 because he met her in the open country, and though the betrothed young woman cried for help there was no one to rescue her.

These verses bothered me y’all, no lie. It seems pretty… extreme, but then the Holy Spirit revealed some things to me (thanks for the Bible reading tips Emike). From reading the text I’m going to make some logical, non-leaping assumptions.

From looking at verse 24, there is a righteous assumption made by God that if the woman had cried out in the city, the men would have acted.

From looking at verse 27, men are expected by God to be those who seek justice in direct and confrontational action.

The text makes a differentiation between the city and the country. In today’s context, even the areas we consider rural would be cities back then.  The country at that time meant a largely uninhabited area, primarily uninhabited by men. In today’s culture, everywhere we go we are in a city.

The text illustrates a literal screaming out from women for help from danger, hurt and harm caused by men. Today women also scream out this way, but they also are screaming out through bitterness, long threads of “indirects” on twitter, ranting Facebook statuses, and/or inappropriate twitter and facebook avatar pictures. Women today are still crying out, and as we have asserted, they have been crying out all in the cities-there is nowhere else to cry out.

The expectation God places on men is one of justice seeker. In the text, the men were called to rescue the women from getting abused by men. This means the men had to stand up, confront the attacker and possibly strike him repeatedly, maybe even kill him for the sake of the women in danger.

Now, we know there are plenty of scorn and broken women in the cities. If one walked outside of thier house/dorm/apartment or even got on any social media, or turned on The View for 3 minutes, they are aware of this reality. Again, women are crying out and they are doing it in the cities. If this is true, then why are so few men stepping up for justice sake and stopping the abuse? Well, if I were to be honest from personal observation, it’s because most men are the abusers, and by definition won’t tell on themselves, and many more are cowards deciding to not “do the most” and “mind their own business”, all the while injustice is happening.

Hold on, before you x-out of this blog upset thinking I’m male bashing, hear me out ( and if you haven’t x’d out already, good for  you!).

In the recent words of a known speaker and ministry leader, “there is an epidemic going on around college campuses” and the rest of the cities. The epidemic isn’t “men running around getting girls pregnant and leaving them alone”; it’s sin! Sin produces cowardice. Sin doesn’t confront, sin cosigns. Sin doesn’t correct, sin cowers. It’s this sin that has our males (who call themselves men) acting this way in common society. Most of the men in a very real way are much like the man in the picture above.

I want us to see what God has called man to do, how we have fallen, and the state we are in.  The answer may surprise you, but it may not.

We gotta look to Jesus.

From reading Deuteronomy 22:23-27, we can see there is a victim/abuser relationship in place and that there is to be a person who is to rescue the one abused, in the name of justice and love out of the position they are in.

See, we all (men included) were abused and manipulated by sin. We cried out, but the difference is we enjoyed it, we were all following sin, indwelt by demons and loving the mess we are in [Ephesians 2:1-3]. According to the Law, in Deuteronomy,  we were to die along with the abuser because we were dishonorable and cheated on God, but in love and grace God stepped in and beat back then abuser sin, nay God crushed what was abusing us. Yet instead of killing us along with the abuser, God in perfect justice punished Himself as if He was the unfaithful one.

He punished Himself on our behalf in the GodMan Jesus Christ on a feces and urine covered Cross, delivering perfect love and justice.
Men have to look towards this fact (not philosophy or idea), change their minds about their sin and believe in Jesus. In that new life likeness, man is changed! Only from there can they move from abusers and cowards to advocates of Godliness and confronters of injustice.

Jesus Saves.

Grace and Peace,

heal me.

I write this as something that has been weighing heavy on my heart. I write this because I have only told no more than a few people. I write this because I once couldn’t talk about it without a hand full of tears.

A few years ago, my sophomore year in college, I was living a reckless and meaningless life. I went to school during the day and worked the clubs at night.  However, as time passed and as the money started to get good, I placed more importance on work, rather than school. Pretty soon my work was all I really had. The money was good so I really had no complaints, but with that mentality, I made no room for other things such as school, family, friends, and dating. This was not until I ran into an old classmate at the local grocer, and there we exchanged numbers with hopes of catching dinner to reminisce and play catch-up.  After I walked away from the conversation, I had no real intention of following through with anything we planned. Like I said, I was busy with making money. I had no time for anything else. After exchanging numbers, he persistently called me and text me, trying to arrange a time where we could meet up. After a couple of missed calls and unresponsive texts, it went from “let’s hang out” to “I want to take you out to dinner.” It was only when he expressed a small crush on me that I started to respond and warm up to the idea of a date. Weeks went by until we finally arranged a time and place to meet.

So I cleared my work schedule for this particular night for us to go out on a date. In my head, I did not trust many people due to my work environment, but I went to high school with this guy, so I let my guard down. He picked me up from the house and took me to, what then, I thought was a fancy restaurant. That night he was the perfect gentleman.  Because of his kind actions I started to think there could be a second date in our cards. It was not until the night was coming to an end when things took a turn for the worst. What first started out as just hanging out after dinner, he then popped in the “movie.” But we never made it mid-way into the movie until, of course, he made his move on me. What was then welcome turned into uncomfort. My moving away and “NO” was not enough to stop this guy from whatever he had on his agenda.  I could only lay there as an unwilling participant, waiting for the moment to be over. What may have been 10 minutes felt like an eternity.

I had just been raped.

After that I went straight home to wash off the night, the experience, and the shame off my body. But days of scrubbing and washing did not rid the shame. Shame then turned to anger toward everyone around. My anger was even aimed at God.  I thought I was His child? Why would He allow someone I knew from highschool make me another victim? I thought He would never leave me! I was so angry at the world that I started acting out my anger consciously and subconsciously.

This is when the heavy drinking kicked in. I drank so much it became daily. This is when I started offering up my body to anyone who was interested. This is when I no longer cared. My mindset at the time was, “its just sex, no big deal anymore.” I was so selfish in thinking, that all I could do was look at myself as a victim. It never dawned on me that I was not alone. I never once thought to look to Jesus as my healer. Instead, I looked to alcohol, money, altering my exterior, and another man to heal me. But none of those things lasted. It was not until I had enough of the rebellion that I came crawling back to God to forgive me and heal my open wounds. I told him to take my life, because if He didn’t, my rebellion (sin) would just lead to me killing myself. I am so glad He answered my cry, because I was tired of playing the victim with the baggages of hurt, shame, and guilt.

Its not that God had left me, it’s that I never wanted to hear his voice. I never thought He was sufficient to heal my pain. I selfishly belittled God’s power with doubt.  However, I can now say that I have forgiven the situation, because my Father has forgiven me countless of times.  I know that although this has happened to me, and many of my sisters, it doesn’t take away from God’s love. And I know that because Jesus died on that cross, God accepts me.

I write this to you, not to evoke sympathy from you, and not to create an awakardness. But I write this so that you’ll know that you are free from your past. When you got saved, the old you died with Christ on that cross. When Christ rose on the third day, so did the new you. You are a new creature, who no longer has to carry the baggage of what has happened in the past. The past is your testimony to bring Glory to God. So go out and spread the good news of Jesus Christ. Tell em what God has done for you.

Bruh, Man up! (An introduction)

What I’ve been seeing…

No lie, I stay on social media, perhaps a bit too much. Whilst perusing the various facebook updates and tweets, I often will see complaints from women concerning “trifling ni**as”, updates and tweets from men justifying their behavior,  and then and still even more women applauding these men for their behavior.  So needless to say there’s a lot of confusion out there as to what really being a man is. In this series we’re going to see what manhood is, and yes reader, I’m sure you’ve read or heard at least 405 other sources about what being a real man is, but I can tell you the answer in this series won’t be self-improvement, money, extenze (that’s a sex pill if you didn’t know), a workout plan or education.

To open this series up, let’s start with


Genesis 3:7 But the Lord God called to the man and said to him, Where are you?

Giving context to the verse:

Adam and Eve were living and ruling in the Garden of Eden but disaster struck, Eve was deceived and ate the forbidden fruit, committing the one sin in existence for mankind at the time. Though it was Eve who initially sinned, God holds Adam responsible. Adam was the man and was created first to lead and cultivate (Genesis 1:15-16). Though this was His role when God asks Adam what went down in Genesis 3, his response is less than admirable. He blames God and then throws Eve under the bus.

The hard thing I don’t believe Adam understood was that though he did not commit the initial wrong, he was called to take responsibility.  Men, does this sound familiar? How often do we as the one called to lead and serve fail to do so, blaming others for our failure, including God? I can speak for myself and say there are many times where I want to blame-shift, not realizing that my call is higher, to be a servant leader in my community, my friendships, and when the time comes, my marriage.

Let’s peep what the 2nd Adam (Jesus) did. Although our shortcomings were not His fault, He took responsibility for them. How? On His Cross. He absorbed all the wrath due to us as the man, the leader, our Savior. (Romans 5:8)  Men, we are called to live this way, taking the responsibility for something that isn’t our fault (yes I know that sounds foreign!). Often times this will hurt, but  the answer for us as males is to submit to the only real Man, Christ Jesus. Let’s give up our small ideas of manhood and pick up what the Bible has for us as manhood (the Cross).

This is just an intro though!

We’ll be tackling these other subjects and their relation to this thing we call manhood:







Concerning this series, like the Apostle Paul said “Roll with me as I roll with Christ” 1 Cor 11:1 (NGV), I think you’ll like it!

Grace and Peace.

Jesus wants the Rose

This is a favorite clip of mine by a man of God by the name Matt Chandler.

The Rose

There are many of us who secretly feel unworthy to be in relationship with God. Many of us feel because of our past   (or current) mistakes, that we’re just too dirty to come to an immeasurably clean God and dare ask for a relationship. The Good News is that this immeasurably clean God came down and took your filth and gave you His cleanliness, if you realize you need Him and believe He can save you! Peep the vid and comment!

Rags to Riches

Everyone loves a good rags to riches story. And I love em just as much, I really liked Lebron James’ “More Than a Game.” The film chronicled James’ life as a disadvantaged boy with a single mother and finished with him emerging as the superstar athlete we all know today. Rags to Riches stories reach further than just athletes. Oprah was impregnated after being raped before revolutionizing talk shows, Jim Carey used to live in a camper, working in a tire factory before becoming a successful actor, and J.K. Rowling was on welfare before hitting it big as the author of Harry Potter.

I asked myself, why do these stories interest and amaze us so much? And I think it’s because we give our pasts way too much power over our present, so we’re shocked that disadvantaged people actually made it.

We say….”You were raped? You should be scared, mistrusting, and unable to form normal relationships for the rest of your life. You grew up poor? Ok your options are athlete, drug dealer, or blue collar. You lost a parent as a child? You should suffer from depression, going through life making bad decisions due to a lack of guidance in your childhood.”

Based off their past, we label folk as damaged goods, in need of anti-depressants and an image coach…how could someone with that kind of past become successful? Sadly many allow these negative predictions that are based off their pasts to prevent them from finding joy, healing, and success in their present.

But to those who are in Christ……….     (“My, my, my!” cue the organ!)

You see, Jesus was the original rags to riches story. His ‘E True Hollywood Story’ would have Him being born in a cow’s feeding trough, literally wrapped in rags. They would follow Him as He lived homeless, persecuted, and rejected. Yet in the end, E would find Jesus glorified and elevated to such a position that He sits today at the right hand of God with all power in His hand (Hebrews 1:3).

The Bible says when we are in Christ, believing in His work on the cross and setting Him as Lord over our lives, then we become “a new creation, old things have passed away and all things have become new- 2 Corinthians 5:17”

I believe wholeheartedly that one of the things that passes away is your past, you become a new person. You are transformed by the blood of Christ, given a new identity in Him. He is your joy, your daily bread, motivating you to press on, and through Him all things are made new and whole. Through Him all things are made possible, even overcoming your past. You are a conqueror. Christ has given you freedom, why let the past hold you back in your present?

I don’t know what your story is or what you’ve had to overcome in life. It seems like on some level everyone has their own rags to riches story. But I do know that if you are in Christ, and He is in you, then His power is capable of taking you to places that you never imagined. If you are in Christ, be assured that you will be elevated to a place in heaven just as He was. Elevated to heaven!!! It’s that kind of power!!!

I know I’ve got my own story. And I’m not funny like Jim Carey, don’t have Lebron’s talent, can’t write like Rowling, and don’t have the people skills to run a talk show like Oprah, but I have Jesus and as long as I cling to Him, He can take my raggedy life and turn it into something that both He and I find rich. Trust in Jesus Christ and be transformed!

pro-life or pro-choice? or both? eh?

According to the 2009 Houston Area Survey, “abortion attitudes are unchanged since the mid 1990s, but their intensity is less.” In other words, there are still some who view the act of abortion as “morally wrong,” yet at the same time, some of these same people don’t feel it is necessary to lay down a law that strictly prohibits abortion.

Here are some specific statistics from the Houston Area Survey.

In 1997, 55% thought abortion was “morally wrong,” as did 57% in 2009; 59% in 1997 were opposed to a law making it harder to obtain an abortion, as were 54% this year.

In the 2009 survey, 57% said they believed that abortion is “morally wrong,” yet only 38% were in favor of “a law that would make it more difficult for a woman to obtain an abortion.” It is these “tolerant traditionalists” — area residents who support the right of others to make personal choices of which they themselves might disapprove — who have helped turn Houston into a “progressive” rather than a “traditionalistic” city.

One night I got on twitter and tweeted, “Who is against abortion, but not for a law banning abortion? And why?,” and I received 5 responses: 3 in the form of “at replies,” 1 via sms text, and 1 via email.

Of the 5 responses, some based their stance of not favoring a law banning abortion, although being against abortion, on condition, whether that condition be of the wife or of the child.

“I’m against it [abortion], but you never know what the situation is based on. If the woman was raped, then I feel she should have a choice to terminate her pregnancy,” T.K. Sadler, a junior at University of Houston, said.

“When it comes to birth defects that are detected in the womb, I wouldnt want the child to suffer,” Vyanna Carroll, a junior at University of Houston, said.

Others didn’t base their decision on the situation of the conception, nor the condition of the “child” in the womb, but instead they took a look at the implications and possible results of implementing a law banning abortion.

“If you make it [abortion] illegal, people will just find ways to do it anyways; illegal ways or unsafe ways,” Sandra Aderibigbe, senior at Texas A&M said.

“[I’m] against abortion morally but legally, if you begin restricting women and their bodies again it is a major loss to women’s rights,” Denise Alex, recent graduate of Texas A&M, said.

I also received a response that had absolutely nothing to do with a victim of rape, child defects, illegal action, or women’s rights, but had solely to do with the human conscious.

“To me, it is contradiction to say ‘I would not do that,’ and in the same token say, ‘But you can do that.’ It’s a form of relativism. I think when you realize that there is an outside force that governs the general morals of human beings, we must see that the outside force must be right, due to general moralistic consensus, and that we can be wrong if we do not align ourselves with that force. As Paul stated in Acts 17, that “unknown god” or “outside force” is the Creator of the Universe; God.” – David Dawkins, senior, University of Houston.

Peep the video.

God is sovereign.