My Own Fiasco

Hands down, one of my favorite rappers used to be Lupe Fiasco. We haven’t necessarily parted ways, because I respect his talent, but we’ve just grown apart. I liked Cool Young Lu because he was intelligent, lyrically talented, and not afraid to mash on society or politics. I was jamming on pandora one day and ‘The Coolest’ came on. It’s funny how you can hear something so many times and not really realize what you’re listening to or what exactly you’re hearing. Verse one opens up with…

“I Love the Lord, but sometimes it’s like I love me more.”

And it’s like I said, the song isn’t new. I’ve heard it before, but I wasn’t really hearing it. But this time I heard it, and I think I heard it this time because I felt it. I felt it in my gut. Lupe had just put into words what I put into action. “I love the Lord, but sometimes it’s like I love me more.”

See love is something I’ve been struggling with. I was telling my pastor of my struggles to love people and he dropped a line that also hit me in my gut. He said, “You know we always think that there’s this one person that we’re bad at loving without realizing that we’re bad at loving everyone, including God.”

Immediately I was on the defense, saying to myself, “I love people! I love my family and close friends!” Right? And then it was like someone pushed play on a horror film inside of my head. I saw myself being unloving to the people I claimed to love the most. I saw myself answering phone calls only when it’s convenient for me. I saw myself interacting with these people, but mostly when it benefited me. I saw myself sitting stationary, knowing that someone needed Godly advice, knowing that they needed guidance and needed to talk. Forget first fruits, I saw myself giving God the last of all my fruits. I went on to name this horror film ‘I love you, but I love me more.’ I was disgusted.

I’m not struggling to love people or God; I’m struggling to get over myself. We have got to fight to walk as living sacrifices. Remember what it took for you to get saved? Remember the emotions you felt at your lowest time of brokenness-anger, frustration, depression-remember the mess you made when you were doing things your way? Can you see what placing your faith in Jesus Christ has done in your life, can you see the change? How can we still want to hold onto ourselves. I was hopeless without Him, I still am hopeless without Him, and I always will be hopeless without Him.

That’s enough motivation for me to let go of myself. That’s enough motivation for me to worship God. That’s enough for me to love God for what He’s done and translate the love that I receive from Him into love that I now give to others. I want to wake up every day and feel exactly like I’m mourning the loss of someone I loved dearly …


power. part 4. “do you got the power to let power go?”

at the end of kanye west’s power, he asks the question, “do you got the power to let power go?”

the power. to let. power go?

i’ll be honest. i was confused as to what kanye meant when he first asked the question. i had that “what the heck did i just read?” look as the song faded out as if my headphones were shrinking.

and then it clicked. seat belt.

ephesians 3:20 Now to him who is able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think, according to the power at work within us, 21 to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, forever and ever. Amen.

that word “able” right there in verse 20 is dynamai in the original language of the new testament (greek). you see it? it’s where we get words like “dyn-o-mite” and “dynamic” from. as used in the bible, it holds the definition to have power, whether by virtue of one’s own ability and resources. – thanks blue letter bible.

walk with me. walk with me.

God is able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think! this is great because we are only able to, at best, fall short and pay the price forever :/ but even though we don’t agree with what God says about how/what we should love, how we should live, and what our life should produce, the Father exhibited power and let power go, for us!

how? he, out of his own ability and resources, gave his Son for us! His most prized possession, His “bff,” His main dude, His only begotten Son – Jesus – was “let go” on a 33 year earthly mission to this scarred and broken world! Jesus came as a ransom to buy back those who didn’t love Him, live for Him, and those who sought life outside of Him: us. he completed the work on the cross, and then resurrected with ALL POWER!

i need this: God says that He is able to save you from your rebellious, misdirected, lonely, abusive, “what am i here for?” life! will you keep frontin’ like you can hold it all together, or will you, like He did, let go?

the breax. all powerful. (power remix) #reconciled.

power. part 3. now this will be a beautiful death.

imagine. the doctor tells you that you have 1 day to live. you know what is about to happen. you know you are about to die. your minor request is that your friends stay up with you and pray. you don’t ask for deeds, you just ask for presence. yet, your friends fall asleep on you while you are worried to death – to the point that you sweat blood. but your friends are sleeping like babies. that’s loneliness.

imagine. you’ve basically lived with someone for 3 years. you provide for them. you offer nothing but love to that person. then they betray you, with a kiss. a kiss. what was once one of the most precious signs of love is now once of the most recognizable signs of betrayal. the kiss of death. that’s betrayal.

imagine. being captured. seized. all of your “ride or die‘s” are with you. but they just ride out. and you, well, you are basically left to die. someone even runs away in so much fear that he’s naked. that’s abandonment.

imagine. being tried illegaly. being on trial when the court is supposed to be closed. the witnesses testifying against you collectively have false accounts that do not agree – yet, the death sentence is still demanded. you have already been beaten, slapped, punched, spat on, mocked, and flat out disrespected. unfairly. undeservedly. not guilty. innocent. that’s unfair.

imagine. you are stripped of your clothes. you are tied to a post. your entire back is exposed. you are being flogged by a leather whip with small bones and metal attached to such. in public. your skin is literally stripped off of you, as if it were mere velcro. because the whip. sticks. an extreme amount of blood is lost. most die after a flogging, but you are still alive. that’s humiliation.

imagine. you are then mocked. beaten even more. and a crown of thorns is shoved onto your skull. sarcastic symbols of royalty are given to you while you are being treated like a peasant. your beard is plucked, like that one strand of cotton hanging off of your shirt. ripped from your face. yet and still, you are getting beaten until you no longer even appear as a human. it seems as if they are trying to kill you. they are. that’s extreme.

imagine. after all of this. you walk. being alive is unfathomable at this point. walking is the last thing you can think of. but yet, you walk – with a 100+ pound cross on your back. the same back that has been ripped to shreds. you. walk. the road to glory death. that’s agony.

and this is all before Jesus died on the cross. these events are what preceded the cross. this all happened before Jesus even got on a cross. the loneliness, the betrayal, the unfairness, the humiliation, the extremity, the agony – before the cross, point to the loneliness, betrayal, unfairness, humiliation, extremity, and agony that Jesus would face on the cross.

imaginethe cross.

6 For while we were still weak, at the right time Christ died for the ungodly. 7 For one will scarcely die for a righteous person—though perhaps for a good person one would dare even to die— 8 but God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.

in all its ugliness, that’s a beautiful death.

power. part 2: “no one man should have all that power!”

as we saw in part 1, one of the definitions of power, via meriam-webster, is a possession of control, authority, or influence over others. according to the depiction of malcolm x by academy-award winner denzel washington, it is safe to say that malcolm x had some power.

i’m not just talking about any power, i’m talking about that “gimme a crisp pair of jeans, *** button up” power that literally ended the throwback jersey era. i’m talking about that eddie murphy in coming to america, “bark like a dog” power. that’s power.

in order to communicate a demand that will eventually become a reality is authentic power, power that Jesus exemplified above malcom x, jay-z, and prince akeem combined.

read mark 2:1-12 right quick and peep the power of Jesus!

in this instance, Christ Jesus showed his authority over forgiveness & sickness. not only did He heal the paralytic, but Christ forgave the paralytic’s sins – which seems to be of first importance. now that’s ultimate authority! Even the scribes were tripping at the fact that Jesus, a man, was talking like he was “God” or something! Only God can forgive sins, right? True, but the beauty is, although that Jesus is a man, He is God! And He has the same authority/power to this day!

no one man should have all that power – but a Godman should 😉

pray. sit. meditate. look around. look inside. how is God’s power manifesting in your life today?

POWER. part 1. just an intro.

single art for kanye west ft. dwele - power.

“power” is an extremely interesting and sought-after word.

according to merriam-webster, “power” is defined as:

  1. the ability to act or produce an effect.
  2. a possession of control, authority, or influence over others.
  3. (a) a physical might (b) mental or moral efficacy (c) political control or influence.

now, kanye west has a new single featuring dwele titled, “power,” produced by texas’ own: (s1) symbolyc one of strange fruit project.

on first listen i was like, “eh” – mainly due to the fact that ye’s boastful lyrics and glorification of the “fast life” (which only lead to destruction) stuck out like roger clemens in a weight room. but upon listening to the song with my headphones in (which exploits the true essence of music), a few of his lyrics were literally jumping out at me, and i begin to meditate on lyrics such as:

  • “no one man should have all that power.” – a popular line from spike lee’s malcolm x film.
  • “now this will be a beautiful death: jumping out the window, letting everything go, letting everything go.”
  • “do you got the power to let power go?”

now before i dive into this series, if you haven’t listened to the song (beware of lyrics), peep it if you’d like, maybe once or twice, for the context of the lines mentioned, but listen to glorify God.

also, i charge us to read about Jesus’ power via the gospel according to mark, and to be on the look out for “POWER, part 2: no one man should have all that power!”

God is love. Jesus is God. The Holy Spirit told me so. and i pray that the power of Jesus’ beautiful death will not only be a mere fact to us, but the very pinnacle of our existence!

My Life as a Step Show

Alpha Step. Omega Step. Kappa Step. Sigma StepIf you don’t know, that’s the opening of Kanye West’s School Spirit off of what is argued as his greatest album, College Dropout.

Ever consider your life as a step show?

No matter who or where you are, you are stepping in line or in association with someone or something. If we had to do a parody of Yeezy’s song for some of us it would sound like…Career Step. School Step. Relationships Step. Mula Step. Whether you’re a student, a mechanic, artist, drug dealer, or pastor you are following, worshiping, praising, and stepping to someone, some idea, or something.

As Christians we’re striving to be like Christ and the easiest way to do that is to be in step with the Holy Spirit. When you’re in step with something or someone you’re following their every move. They turn left, you turn left, they put their hands up in a formation, you mimic that formation with your hands. The Bible has given us the opportunity to study Christ’s moves and through our everyday living we are able to put those moves into practice. We’re given daily opportunities to step in love, just as Christ loved, opportunities to step in evangelism, just as Christ evangelized to the lost.

But sometimes we miss-step. We allow idols, distractions, and attractions to sin to throw off our intentions of remaining in step with the Holy Spirit.

“You were running a good race. Who cut in on you and kept you from obeying the truth?” Gal. 5:7

The flesh and Spirit desire different things, their step routines look completely different. Following the steps of the world can have you strolling down the wrong path (corny pun intended). In stepping with the world your moves no longer honor or glorify the God that has created you. And the difference will be evident by the fruits that will be produced in your life. Because after all when you’re in step with the Spirit then you bear the fruit of the Spirit-love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, faithfulness, self-control, and meekness! All of which are the kind of fruit the Lord loves to see on our trees!

“Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit.” Galatians 5:25

All I can do is urge you to make a prayer commitment, a Bible reading commitment, do whatever it takes to keep yourself in step with the Holy Spirit because these days are evil (Eph. 5:16). Don’t you wish you could have more peace, more patience, be more kind, with more self-control, make moves in the Spirit so that you can get there! If that’s what you want and who you want to be then don’t let anything stop you from getting on Christ’s line and Stompin’ the Yard!-ok I got a little carried away on that one, but seriously- Wake up daily deciding you’re gonna step with Christ!

the sinners prayer saves(?); part I: saved by walking up, sanctified by a hug, & justified by tears(?)

When I was young I walked down that church aisle I don’t know how many times.
It seemed like every time somebody did an invitation to come to “God” I ashamedly went down. One time my dad even made fun of me for going down at some youth conference saying, “I thought you got saved them few times…why you still acting like you not”. He was talking about how I was still living my life as if I never went down the aisle with tears in my eyes saying “today is the day I’ll remember for the rest of my life”…and would completely forget about it next week.

It was a cycle for me…man speaks…I walk up…someone hugs me…people clap…tells me my life is going to be different forever…and rinse, lather, repeat. I laugh when I think about how Kanye said “Ive been baptized at least three or four times“, because I really have been. That one line would always get me to come back up there, “If you were to die today do you know where you will spend eternity”. I would be like dang why he had to ask that…man time to take this walk of shame because I have no idea where I would go if I died today.

I was pretty sure I was going to the Americanized unbiblical fiery pits of hell with red satan and his tail with pitch fork accessory.
Don’t worry, because the Biblical imagery of hell fire is merely metaphorical…for something infinitely unimaginably worse.
My driving force for doing good was the idea that hell was not the place I wanted to be forever, for-ever, for-ev-er… I did good deeds outside of the purpose of pleasing a Holy and Righteous God…but isn’t that the same thing pharisees said and did?

I was told of the free gift of salvation but I was never told of the free gift of sanctification. Philippians 1:6 says, “And I am sure of this, that He who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ.” The Apostle Paul speaks in past, present, and future tense of the work of Jesus Christ. He says a good work was started in you…that good work is the completed work on the cross. Jesus began the process of sanctification by initiating salvation by dying on the cross to sin, satan, and death. Upon salvation the Holy Spirit moves into your life renovating your mind to not gratify the desires of the flesh. You will not be perfect but you will be when Christ comes back. All Jesus asks for is a lifestyle of repentance, hating what God hates and loving what God loves. The process of sanctification is a linear journey beginning with Christ and ending with Christ; the Author and Finisher of your faith…but what do I do about my fear of hell…? (to be [or not to be?] continued)

confessions of an ex-hip-hop worshiper.

*only focusing on first 1:09*

“hip hop is a religion to a certain extent, and the rappers are the preachers. the music is the scriptures. it’s just like church. you go to a concert, you raise your hands in the air, you get dressed up, you sing songs, and you definitely pay some money!” – kanye west.

i remember it as if it were yesterday. the word from pastor west was so amazing! i was a visitor at the church of the woodlands pavilion in north north north houston, seemingly only used for every extremely large revivals, and my god, did i experience what i tithed for! the feeling was incredible! the overall theme of the service was titled “glow in the dark,” and my, did my god shine that night!

“i, i go for mines! i gots to shine! now throw your hands up in the sky!!!” were the lyrics to pastor west’s most popular sermon at the time, “good life,” and did i throw my hands up in the sky or what!? the entire congregation did! we were all in one accord! singing and praising and worshiping and revering and honoring and loving and pouring out our voices and souls, just as pastor west commanded us! now that’s authority!

the climax of the service was when pastor west visited an old sermon titled, “touch the sky,” a sermon that featured another pastor, pastor wasalu muhammad, better known as, lupe fiasco. now pastor muhammad, oh, he was definitely my favorite pastor in all of the land! his intricate wordplay and delivery and cadence and on-the-track chivalry was what i loved most about his sermons! when he surprisingly burst onto the stage and delivered the ever so popular 3rd point of the “touch the sky” sermon, i tried with all of my might to touch the sky! my arms were fully extended, as if i were surrendering, and i screamed every word of the sermon verbatim! and the horns at the end of the sermon, as if some grand deity was coming back to bring the entire congregation up with it, only captivated my soul and magnified the preachers and glorified the worshipers who were in attendance at the woodlands pavilion that night!

now i wasn’t a sunday hip hopstian, i did this every day of the week. i didn’t need a service, i did it in my room. i had to have my ipod in my ear, playing a sermon, everywhere i went. that was mandatory. i ate, slept, and breathed hip hop. i was one of the best hip hopstians in all of the land. blameless before jay-z. i was definitely going to hip hop heaven, where all of the hip hop “martyrs” dwell. i knew my history, my ancestors, what they did for me. not only was i a hearer of the word, but a doer. you couldn’t tell me nothing!

Romans 1:25 for they exchanged the truth of God for a lie, and worshiped and served the creature rather than the Creator, who is blessed forever. Amen.

i exchanged the truth of God for a lie. i worshiped hip hop. i served hip hop, rather than the Creator, who is blessed forever. BUT God went for me, for us, in the flesh, in Jesus Christ, and died for all of those who have exchanged the truth of Him for a lie! why’d he do it? He did it for the glory!!!

“God, God’s so divine, God gots to shine, now throw your hands up in the skyyyyyyyy!” #radioreconcile