a dude named patrick ngwolo.

For a while I wanted to back away from P.T

It felt as though I worshiped him because I wanted to be like him so bad. People even started to notice how I quoted him a lot or used similar mannerisms. It started to get annoying.

This dude named P.T. is just another sinner unworthy of God’s grace, so why would anyone want to follow him?

an answer, not the answer

I gave my life to Christ on my bedroom floor crying as this dude P.T. was halfway explaining I John & Romans to me, seemingly trying to get off the phone. I was a hardcore agnostic pondering on the notion of “Does God exist?”, & this dude P.T. would answer my phone calls at all hours of the night trying to tell me some good news.

He told me that God is faithful & just to forgive my sins if I merely confessed them, changed my mind about sin, & trusted in the finished work of Christ on the cross. He also pointed out that Christ’s resurrection was the assurance of Jesus giving us new life to live for the building of the Kingdom of God.

I never heard that before.

All the years I went to church thinking morality was Christianity, all the years I thought God was so far away, & all the years I tried (keyword: tried) to live a sinless lifestyle to appease God’s righteous wrath … a dude named P.T. comes along and tells me that I don’t have to work for my salvation.

follow him as he follows Christ

Many people can attest the love they have for Christ originated in God using some dude name P.T. as a tool. We know that it is only by God’s grace that he would be used in such a mighty way but I must give credit where credit is due.

He pushes us to know the gospel, speak the gospel, live the gospel, & most of all share the gospel. He taught us that we preach Christ Jesus as Lord & Savior. (<-notice the period)

The Bible Studies taught at Good Hope on Thursday at 7pm are life changing. Few people can come in & walk out the same. Seeds are planted & watered as if we were going to an old school revival, but with good doctrine being taught and no hooping (except when Dennis speaks).

I have seen more people get saved by grace, baptized in faith, & humbled by the Spirit of Truth than anywhere I have ever been. & all he does is say what the Bible says, in context.

all jokes aside, well kinda

Sin is not the end of your life.

Jesus’ death is the end of your life, & his resurrection is the beginning of your new life.

If you only learn one thing from this dude named P.T. please let it be that Jesus Christ gave up his life on the cross for you & he wants you to grab hold of him for dear life. Jesus died FUBU (For Us, By Us) & paid the debt that we owed God. Either you die for your sins or you allow Jesus to die for your sins. The cross is a stop sign & not a yield sign. It is not because of you but in spite of you that Christ chose to die for you. Turn from sin & seek Christ because where your life ends is where Jesus begins. Jesus started a good work in you that he will finish & by the grace of God Jesus will one day say, “Well done good & faithful servant … welcome home … now here is your Bently & flat screen“.

good music!

one thing i love is good music! no, not that self-proclaimed “good music” that just consists of self-righteous lyrics with a hint of consciousness here and there that really doesn’t do anything but point out problems without offering solutions, i’m talking about that good music!

this is a preview of amp performing a song titled “hope.” listen to their good music here!

and that was level 3:16, a new group that features two male MCs, a female DJ and three female vocalists! they are signed to cross movement records, so be on the look-out for new music from this gifted group of musicians!

if you know about some more good music, drop the info in the comments! let’s go!

the catch.

I remember a specific point in my life where you could never catch me at home on a Friday, Saturday, Sunday night. The weekends were meant for running these Houston streets. Well in my mind they were.  Wherever my little jeep landed me and my girls is where we went. We would take hours to get ready, trying on different clothes, shoes, outfits and make-up. My girls and I always had an objective when we went out. Our objective was always to be the hottest girls wherever we went, leave the house with no money and get fully drunk! The mindset was if we spent money on clothing and shoes why should we spend money once we got to the club/party?  We would go to the club, roam the club and find our prey. The main goal was to land in VIP with bottomless bottles, but we would of course settle for the guy buying drinks at the bar.

Drinks after drinks, shots after shots, by the end of the night we were wasted and not in our right minds. With the mindset of getting “White boy wasted” none of us were able to be the sober mind for the group. So of course,  if that guy is buying you drinks all night he is expecting something, and if he is cute then it was no big deal. My friends and I would tag team guys at the bar and tag team after the bar.  See the thing is, in our mind it was an understood packaged deal of “fun”.

I remember, last spring break we partied for 5 days straight doing the same ol’ roaming and preying. It was five days of waking up and drinking then going to the club and preying. After those 5 days, I felt emptier than ever. I started questioning what I was doing and why i was doing those particular things. Getting dolled up and preying on victims was no longer appealing to me. Roaming club to club, drink-to-drink had gotten old. I got tired of pretending to be interested in the guy buying me a drink.  I got tired of not remembering the night before. I got tired of randoms calling my phone. I got tired of having to play nice. I just got tired.

See, the thing was I had a hole I kept trying to fill. But the more I kept trying to fill this hole, the more I felt empty.  Please believe me when I say I tried everything I could to turn off the funky/blah attitude to get back to what I thought was fun. However, the more and more I tried to run that more tired I got of partying.

At the time I did not understand that no dress, man, nor alcohol could fill this void. It was not until I turned my life over to Christ, that is when that “blah” mood left me.

So sister, I write this to you. I know you’re tired of playing nice for fun-sake. I know you’re tired of getting dolled up even though you no longer desire going out partying.  I know the chase of a guy no longer satisfies you and now you wonder, what now? I know this because I’ve been in that exact position.

My answer to your emptiness: God.

You can keep roaming. Or you can stop what you’re doing and get to know God. My sister, I promise you a relationship with Christ is far better than anything this world has to offer you.  Ask me how I know and I will honestly answer you.  My life has not been the same since the day I turned my life over to Christ.

the gods of trust & guilt.

I have sincerely let some people down that I will have to answer to the Almighty God for.

It breaks my heart to think of the faces that in some way or another placed trust in me & were let down by my lack to follow through. Perhaps I was busy or maybe I just didn’t have the power to persevere, but I failed them.

We have all failed someone who has placed trust in us.

trust & forgive them as far as the east is from the west.

In the god of trust

We make trust into a god by getting relaxed with someone or something. We convince our hearts that this person or thing will not & cannot let us down. The sad reality is that more than likely they or it will.

For instance your stranded on the side of the rode & your boo-thang doesn’t pick up the phone … what now?

Thoughts start to compile as you think of trust worthy characters, but for some reason your ex-boo-thang seems convenient to call … what now?

Do you betray the trust of your boo-thang by hitting up your ex or do you wait & trust them to call you back? In this instance both parties trust is being placed on hold & a single decision can potentially alter the relationship forever. (Given that most people do not, whether they express it or not or pretend like they have ‘unshakable’ trust, like the idea of an ex being placed in a intimate position with their current boo-thang because they failed somehow.)

You decided to call … boo-thang will say, “Why you call them? Couldn’t you hit up someone else?” This will cause guilt to arise & one party will see themselves as inadequate for not being available or for calling the ex.

Now there are many more examples but relationships are easy to poke at. The fact of the matter is that trust as a god fails often & the closer you get to it the harder your heart crumbles as it crumbles.

How do we deal with the guilt?

The god of guilt has been offered praises from me often. I have to constantly remind myself that by Jesus’ shed blood I am forgiven & given a new identity. This is an everyday battle for me because that god creeps up when I least expect it; Perhaps a song is played, a picture is seen, or I’m just lost in thought & it is on its way.

Guilt is attributed to someone who is guilty of a crime. As a Christian I should not feel guilt.

Yet it was the will of the LORD to crush him;
he has put him to grief;
when his soul makes an offering for guilt,
he shall see his offspring; he shall prolong his days;
the will of the LORD shall prosper in his hand.
– (Isaiah 53:10 ESV)

On the cross Jesus carried our guilt & grief … & was brutally punished for it. Relish on the thought of Jesus carrying our guilt from sin. Jesus became guilt so that we would not have to be guilty.

You are set free from the guilt because Jesus’ blood washed it all away. When we do fall into guilt it is a lack of trust in Christ & his sufficient sacrifice. We don’t, & I mean we, don’t believe that he truly paid it all for us. But whether we believe it or not, he did.

Trust in Christ’s faithfulness & not our own. Trust in Christ as the only remedy for our sin issues.

you are not alone.

she sat still in a fragile wooden chair. chipped paint. unsteady balance. uncomfortable comfort. alone. she sat still. eyes welled with lonely tears. droplets secreting one. by. one. single tears rolling down her full cheeks. she sat still. filled with alone. she was a slave to loneliness.

she stood up in her lonely atmosphere. wiped her face. stretched her ligaments into the direction of her front door to invest some time in a brisk walk through the breezy forest where her shelter was established. all alone. her feet trekked a sandy trail that she had never explored before. she was in search of another body in the parameters of her shelter.

she was startled in the midst of her trekking. her eyes captured the image of a man. a man of God sent from God. as he spoke to her, he slowly approached her and said “woman, why are your eyes saturated in lonely liquids?” he possessed a strong and powerful voice. his words were filled with Truth she had never heard. filled with Comfort her wooden chair could not keep. she responded, “i am alone. i have been alone, living alone, all of my life. my single tears are my only visitors. what is your name, sir?” the man spoke his name solidly in her ear and said, “my name is Peter. and you are not alone.”

she wore confusion on her weary face and shyly said, “but i am.”

he replied, “this i say to you is the Truth. you are not alone. do you believe Jesus is Lord?”

she faintly said, “yes. i do. but i am still alone.”

he said to her, “when the clouds received Jesus and seated Him in heavenly places next to the Father, did you miss the sweet Words He spoke into your ear? He said to you and i … and all of humanity that He will pour His Holy Spirit on all humanity and in us, that His Spirit will be our Comforter when our fleshly minds force us to think we are alone. He lives within you. He is everything and all you need. as i mentioned before, you are not alone.” he spoke Life into her.

she was stuck in silence. immovable. she closed her eyes. immediately, she felt a feeling she had never felt before. an embrace. cradled in arms. encircled by the Spirit she lost hope in. her muscles were weakened, still, she was able to smile. her tears fell … accompanying one another. two. by. two. by. three. by. four. they rolled.

she separated her eye lids. her eyes were glossed by her newly Comforted tears. but they no longer held the image of Peter. he had gone away. with no words of farewell. he left. without a trace. she lifted her head and looked to the sky. she saw the clouds forming together, closing an entrance that had been detached. cradling a figure that was familiar to her.

she was no longer alone for the Holy Spirit dwelled within her. and she trekked back to her home. in His embrace. in His Love. in His peace. reminded, by Peter, who Jesus is and the promise He sweetly spoke into her ears.

His Spirit was poured into her. and she felt alive again.

*there is no such thing as “catching the Holy Spirit“. we are caught (chosen) by the Holy Spirit, and securely sealed by the Holy Spirit. as easy as it is to catch something, we can easily drop it, lose it, and/or forget about it. He (the Holy Spirit) lives within those who call on the name of the Lord. you cannot drop, lose, or forget about what is in you. receive this Gift in which we do not deserve. He is extending His Grace … for the price of Love. why pass it up? choose to live. in Him. with Him. and for Him.*

preach the word.

*pic credit: debra ward, iphone*

september 15th, 2010.

(from left to right) zachary nunn, david dawkins, senior pastor dr. d.z. cofield, eric m. ward, and dennis campbell.

by the power of the Holy Spirit we gave evidence that God has called us into the gospel ministry, and we are now licensed to preach the gospel of Jesus Christ as we may have opportunity.

thanks to all family, friends, good hope!, the city @ good hope!, and again, the triune God!

won’t do.

“one won’t do and

two is not enough for me, no.

one won’t do, two is

not enough for me, no.”

no, two was not enough for him, so he gave up

the sex and the weed and he gave up the drinks and the greed.

because one couldn’t do and

two was just not enough for him, no.

yep, he gave up the gossip and

the senseless club hoppin’.

because one wouldn’t do and

two was not enough for him, no.

then he found that the One who created all, not being one at all sent

Two to came down and save him and his soul.

Three poured into him and since,

it’s been so unusual.

and he realized that one won’t do and

two is not enough for him, no.

they will never be enough because

the Trinity is a whole.

that one and that two created a hole

between him and his Whole.

since then, everything has been so