Man this is the realist blog I ever wrote.
During this Christmas break I had been extra lazy in all aspects of life, I have seriously been “doing me.” Lately, I have been pursing whatever makes ME happy (<_<) yes! I have been going to church, blogging about God, leading different groups speaking about God, and talking to those who would like to confide in me about their faith and/or struggles. I have been doing all the “good works” to get my golden ticket into heaven. I had been talking about God but not talking TO GOD. In my daily activity, I have been lacking my one-on-one time with God, my Creator, the Creator.
Man! if i wasn’t hanging out with other Christians you probably wouldn’t be able to tell the difference between me and someone who live for the world, thats how bad i was “doing me”
I had to stop and look at myself and ask “Do I truly believe?” because my actions were not reflecting ones of a believer. Thoughts rolled around in my head, as to why I was not repenting? Honestly, why was I not remorseful at the time? I understand that once the Holy Spirit resides in every crevice of your heart and never leaves, so why did I not hear anything? Or was I even listening to hear something? I knew my actions were horrible, but I did nothing to correct it. It was not until I had a conversation with an old friend that I finally heard the Holy Spirit.
The old friend and I were going back and forth with updates on our lives, minutes into the conversation I was asked about my beliefs and if I still believed. After I spoke about God and the changes in my life, my friend then went into the many reason as to why they did not believe. Nevertheless, the argument used for their opposition is one I have heard before time and time again from a close friend. Oddly, this time hearing the argument of objectives truths and what not took a toll on me. Minutes into listening to their views I felt depleted. In hindsight,
I have no idea it was by God’s strength, and His strength alone, that I sat their with a straight( if even) face. Minutes into this conversation my heart truly hurt. My heart hurt because with the same breath God has graced us with, my friend denies Him. My heart hurt because they refuse to see the beauty of God. This is when I heard God speaking to me, This is when God placed that thirst and hunger in me to seek His face in all things.
Time and time again I have to watch my actions and make sure I am not trying to work my way in to heaven with good deeds.I cannot fill my schedule with deeds for God then turn around and live an unrepentant sin filled life. It’s an oxymoron.
“This is the message we have heard from him and declare to you: God is light; in him there is no darkness at all. If we claim to have fellowship with him and yet walk in the darkness, we lie and do not live out the truth.”-I John 1:5-6
I say this time and time again, one can not serve two masters (I can not serve God and the World) Either i will love one and hate the other.(Either i will love the world and hate God)
No one can serve two masters. Either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to the one and despise the other.-Matthew 6:24
Whoever is not with me is against me, and whoever does not gather with me scatters.-Luke 11:23
I truly know that conversation was God ordained…on God’s perfect time. That conversation just held a mirror to my face and forced me to see what I had already realized. So i pray i continuously seek God in all things daily, minutely, secondly, with every breath God allows (YES! its that crucial) I pray that everyday Jesus doing all the work on the cross is at the forefront of my thoughts. Lastly, I pray I realize daily that God has given me the strength to walk it out.
But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.-Matthew 6:33
” Therefore, my dear friends, as you have always obeyed—not only in my presence, but now much more in my absence—continue to work out your salvation with fear and trembling, for it is God who works in you to will and to act in order to fulfill his good purpose.” -Philippians 2:12-13